Romance Isn’t Porn


*Today’s post is a re-post from about two years ago.* 
This blog post was inspired by someone who is on my case saying that romance novels are porn. I know romance novels take the heat for this and it just gets under my skin since I write romance. No other genre takes this much heat for what the author writes. There’s a big difference between porn and romance.
*Porn degrades a woman as a person. For the most part, the man doesn’t care for the person; he’s just scratching an itch and same could go for the woman.
*It’s meant to get the person watching turned on.
*If you took away the sex there would be nothing there…no character development, no plot…nothing at all.
* Romance novels don’t degrade woman. I’m sure there are some that do, but they are rare. There’s a story there to be told.
*They have external and internal conflicts that they have to overcome to get their ‘happily ever after.’
* If you take away any of the sex scenes there’s still a story there; it doesn’t affect it one bit. It can still hold its own.
It’s an author’s choice if there are going to be any sex scenes in the book at all. The same goes for if they’re open door or closed. Personally, I write open door ones and I’m not ashamed one bit about it. Everyone has sex and people need to stop being so uptight about it. Even those who write in the erotic genre of romance, it’s not just scenes with sex thrown in for the hell of it. It’s to help bring the hero and heroine along, it helps push the plot along. If it doesn’t then it sure as hell doesn’t need to be in the book.
Another thing…just because the author writes the stuff doesn’t mean she does that in real life. Like if an author writes about bondage, it doesn’t mean that she does it, or has ever done it. Romance novels are FICTION stories that the author makes up. Sure, something in her life might inspire the story, but it doesn’t mean all of it is from real life experiences.
My husband has no problem with me writing it. I think if he had anything to say about it, that since I switched to writing romance, things have gotten better between us. He has no problem helping with research.
Sure, a woman might get a tingle reading a really hot, emotional sex scene. At times it helps us connect with our emotions. Isn’t it better if instead of going somewhere else for love after reading that that she turns to her husband?
If you don’t like romance, that’s fine. Everyone has their own preferences, but don’t start attacking romance writers. It really won’t do any good; we won’t stop writing just because it bothers you. We write for those who like to read a good love story…about a couple overcoming odds, and finally in the end the hero gets the girl. Okay, I’m off my soapbox now.
For authors:
Do you take a lot of heat for what your write?
For readers:
What do you love about romance novels? What brings you back to reading them?
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6 comments on “Romance Isn’t Porn

  1. Here here Alyssa, I agree with everything you said. I don't take that much heat for my writing, except from my father who doesn't like his little girl writing this kind of stuff. But I'm very selective about who I tell, especially at work. I don't want my career prospects to be effected by my writing, or vice versa. I wish it weren't true, but its unfortunately the state of the world.And also, you didn't mention, but romance is by far the best selling genre, far elapsing any other genre by millions of dollars. So there must be some appeal to it ;D

  2. I don't care what people think of the stuff I write. I do have one explicit sex scene in my book, but I really built up to it and like to think there was lots of romance in the making.I heard someone say of the difference between men and women "Women need to be loved to have sex…men need to have sex to feel loved."If this is true then depending on who you are writing for (gay or straight) could define what pornography is and is not.

  3. Alyssa Fox says:

    The heat I get is from some friends. My family is very supportive of what I do. Your right, I did forget to mention that.

  4. Alyssa Fox says:

    So true, Michael for other people porn might mean something else, and you do have to take in what the reader might think.

  5. Honestly I could care less if people hate me for what I write. I've already had a woman write me and tell me I shall go to hell for what I write.. I love what I write and am proud of it.

  6. Cheers! Here's my two cents: If they don't like reading sex scenes, maybe they shouldn't pick the book up in the first place. My sex scenes in The Swan Cove Murders is spicy, but I haven't had any complaints about it…yet.

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