Romance isn’t Porn.

This blog post was inspired by someone who is on my case saying that romance novels are porn. I know romance novels take the heat for this and it just gets under my skin since I write romance. No other genre takes this much heat for what the author writes. There’s a big difference between porn and romance.

*Porn degrades a woman as a person. For the most part, the man doesn’t care for the person; he’s just scratching an itch and same could go for the woman.

*It’s meant to get the reader turned on.

*If you took away the sex there would be nothing there…no character development, no plot…nothing at all.

* Romance novels don’t degrade woman. I’m sure there are some that do, but they are rare. There’s a story there to be told.

*They have external and internal conflicts that they have to overcome to get their ‘happily ever after.’

* If you take away any of the sex scenes there’s still a story there; it doesn’t affect it one bit. It can still hold its own.

It’s an author’s choice if there are going to be any sex scenes in the book at all. The same goes for if they’re open door or closed. Personally, I write open door ones and I’m not ashamed one bit about it. Everyone has sex and people need to stop being so uptight about it. Even those who write in the erotic genre of romance, it’s not just scenes with sex thrown in for the hell of it. It’s to help bring the hero and heroine along, it helps push the plot along. If it doesn’t then it sure as hell doesn’t need to be in the book.

Another thing…just because the author writes the stuff doesn’t mean she does that in real life. Like if an author writes about bondage, it doesn’t mean that she does it, or has ever done it. Romance novels are FICTION stories that the author makes up. Sure, something in her life might inspire the story, but it doesn’t mean all of it is from real life experiences.

My husband has no problem with me writing it. I think if he had anything to say about it, that since I switched to writing romance, things have gotten better between us. He has no problem helping with research.

Sure, a woman might get a tingle reading a really hot, emotional sex scene. At times it helps us connect with our emotions. Isn’t it better if instead of going somewhere else for love after reading that that she turns to her husband?

If you don’t like romance, that’s fine. Everyone has their own preferences, but don’t start attacking romance writers. It really won’t do any good; we won’t stop writing just because it bothers you. We write for those who like to read a good love story…about a couple overcoming odds, and finally in the end the hero gets the girl. Okay, I’m off my soapbox now.

For authors:

Do you take a lot of heat for what your write?

For readers:

What do you love about romance novels? What brings you back to reading them?

Music & Writing

Music can relay things so well when we can’t find the words to say what needs to be said. They can touch someone’s soul deeper than anything else at times. I don’t know about anyone else, but for me I have to write with music playing. If I don’t have music I just can’t write. I’m starting a new book and looking for music for the playlist. It becomes even more important during editing. The only noise I can handle is the songs playing. While writing the first draft I can deal with kids yelling, coming to interrupt every few moments…no big deal. I’ve been known to take my laptop into the living room and hold conversations with my family while writing. But when it’s time to edit, then all of that stops and I lock myself into my office with just the songs. There might be times while editing that I listen to the same song over and over for one season until it’s just right.

The other day while starting chapter one of the new book, I couldn’t think of anything to listen to and was having trouble with writing. That is, until this song by Chris Young came on and it hit me. This is how my hero is feeling.

Crazy thing is, my character’s name is Chris as well, but I’m thinking of changing his name. Now he’s not an alcoholic, yet this song just screams his character how he has bottled up his feelings for the heroine It’s a reunion story and a lot of painful stuff they’re going to have to get through for their happy ending.

Then this song came on and it’s on the nose how she feels about him even though she doesn’t want to admit it. She’s still pissed at him and rightly so, but she’s still in love with him even though at first she doesn’t want to admit it. The only question is, can she get over him blaming her for the miscarriage.

So, do you have to have music playing while writing or does it need to be silent? I’m looking for some new songs to add to this playlist. Any suggestions?